The Junkyard
encouraging Lex's world domination since 2001
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The Junkyard encouraging Lex's world domination since 2001 |
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Mustang Sally and Rivka T's Disenchanted Kingdom Quote
If you don't send me feedback, I will sob uncontrollably for hours on end, until finally, in a fit of depression, I slash my wrists and bleed out on the bathroom floor. My death will be on your heads. Murderers. I'm willing to accept vampires and mutants and aliens and gay chocolate milk giving cows, but human males do not get pregnant and they do not give birth! That's why he goes bad, you know -- all the good people hit him on the head or try to shoot him and constantly mistrust him, while there's this vast cohort of minions saying, "We wouldn't hurt you, Lex, and we'll give you power and greatness and oh so much sex..." "Pay-off for seedy ex-doctor to sew up bullet hole in your Krypto-Mutant Witness... one brown bag (containing an undetermined number of unmarked, non-sequentially numbered $100 bills, peyote, or both)" Obi-Wan has a sort of desperate, pathetic patience in this movie. You can just see it in his eyes: "My padawan is a psychopath, and no one will believe me; I'm barely keeping him under control and expect to wake up any night now to find him standing over my bed with a knife!" Is there anything that says, "Yes, I am a virgin, and all my beta-readers are, too," like...boiling ejaculate? Hot, scalding sperm? Burning seminal fluid? ...let's face it, with all that's happened to him this season, it's a wonder he's not spending every evening out behind the castle, drinking Night Train and shooting at squirrels..." "Welcome to ClarkLex. This is the list for people who watch Smallville mainly 'cause it's gay as a picnic basket. Yes, Smallville, starring Clark "Gayer than a leather pinata" Kent and Lex "Gay as Christmas at Bloomingdale's" Luthor, as two gay homosexuals who love each other, and did we mention they're gay?" Fic Quotes "Wait... wait... are you saying you're an alien?" "I mean, it's not every day that you get to come out as an alien. And gay. A big, gay alien."
So, you're going to get Clark the girl of his dreams, since that's less morally suspect than giving
him a truck. You're like the Make A Wish Foundation gone terribly, terribly wrong."
"It's not like we're trading blowjobs for chicken nuggets here."
"I was poisoned, Lex. Semen is the only antidote." "I did NOT fund research into the animation of dessert foods!"
"Clark, we're in a ditch with a stalled engine and two flat tires. In the *snow*. How could it be worse?"
There's just something about a man who's seven months pregnant and wearing a pair of custom made overalls and a white t-shirt with a nursing bra underneath.
The catering idea, of course, had been nixed almost immediately. Jor-El said that there was a great deal of feasting and partying on the day of the Dorzin Marjin, but that was Krypton, this was Kansas. Lex couldn't see this as a crudite and caviar on toast points event, even in Smallville. Though he did order a few bottles of good champagne, just because it seemed the thing to do; the odds seemed pretty high that someone in the Kent house would have to be drunk at some point, either in the before, the during, or the after. Virgin ass at seven, cocktails at eight, and homemade muffins for breakfast seemed very civilized and keeping in the spirit of the whole ass hymen ritual. Diaryland Archive ficlets, wips, and drafts
Something Like Forgetting 1 |
answering comments from sarah t, et al -- 2003-01-25 Okay, was going to do this in comments, except--I didn't. Answering Sarah T *shakes head* Sorry, Jenn. I don't see it. Lex isn't constantly running around blaming himself for every bad thing that ever happens in Smallville. I overstated by accident, my own fault for not proofreading. I clarified it in chat with someone else, and I think I've got a better handle on what I meant. For normal people--let's say we, er, do something wrong. I can't think of an example at the moment, but go with that. If it leads to worse things, most people eventually work themselves out of "THIS IS ALL MY FAULT" and into "Okay, I was only responsible for part a here, bad yes, but part b, c, d and the horror of e that happened after is NOT. Say you are a wife committing adultery, to go extreme here. Your husband catches you and shoots your lover. You're responsible for having a lover, but not necessarily the fact that your husband just shot a man. Woman. Whatever. Lex seems--not to quite get that. In other words, he tends to do something wrong, watch it go nuclear, then blame himself for the original act, the next act, then the one that goes nuclear. And like Mary Ellen says here, Lex's conditioning is to a.) believe there's no way in hell he'll be forgiven, and b.) (I'm extending, this could be just me) fix it himself before he gets caught, both from that sense of responsibility and the Luthor creed of Covering Your Ass. When he *does* feel guilty, it's in situations where he did something bad and it ended up getting way out of control (Nicodemus, Nixon, the Luthorcorp invasion). I still hold Nicodemus was not his fault. Lex started perfectly legitimate research, though his method of recruiting Hamilton left much to be desired. His flaw, like Livia said, is that he didn't watch Hamilton closely enough (though honestly, I cannot see how he could have anticipated this kind of stupidity). Lionel set this one up with one of his men stealing something from the lab. Responsibility? Yes. But there's no fault involved. However, he DID instantly leap upon the 'the blame is mine, I must deal with it alone' bandwagon, because he confuses responsibility with fault. And the Cover Your Ass principle made sure he kept his mouth shut. And you know what? He *should* feel guilty then. Sure, he didn't intend for his dad and Martha to end up hostages, nor was it what I would call a reasonably foreseeable result of his plan. However, when you choose to send armed criminals trespassing onto someone else's property, then, yeah, you *do* bear significant blame if it all goes wrong (a reasonably foreseeable result of his plan *would* have been a shootout with LC security, for example). He *caused* the situation last night. He didn't intend to, but he intended to do something wrong, and he provided all the ingredients for the situation with a bad intention. I'd definitely blame Psycho Minion more than Lex for the death and chaos, but there's no way his conscience is anywhere near clear. Nope, I'm with you there. I'd be more inclined to blame Lex if this had been forseeable, but it wasn't. But yes, the situation as presented was his responsibility and he should feel guilty as hell for that one. Hence the Cover Your Ass principle reappears again. However--and this is speculative--the problem is, I'm not entirely sure he knows when to STOP blaming himself. There's a point where the reasonable mind has to say, okay, I am NOT responsible for everyone's actions. Before this is taken as a defense of Insurgence, it's not. Lex put them in that situation, no question. However, and this is a biggie, besides the fact that these were unanticipatable consequences, this was also the responsibility of the person carrying the gun. Lex doesn't--do things halfway, hence the fact that when things go to hell, they tend to do so in truly spectacular ways. The behavior is consistent with his sheer emotionalism--I think you did the entry on Helen and Lex's relationship and compared it to Clark and Lex's, and how Lex just throws himself into it almost without any sort of base going on. So. There. That a little clearer? RivkaT and Lanning have both explored this particular trait in fanfic, which I found very highly plausible with current canon. Right. Too much sugar. Musings in LJ in all manner of things, including recs and Dark!Lex, sort of. jenn email-- 4:21 p.m. The only size six Michael Rosenbaum is getting into is the one on his date. - by Hope fic: standing in the common spaces -- 2003-01-22 Okay, so the SSA posting interface is working against me. Gah. Standing in the Common Spaces, futurefic, multiple timeline, Spiderman the Movie/Smallville crossover, oh yes, I had a blast with this one. RivkaT, melo_l, thorn, and laura betaed, and wow, did they EVER. My thanks for the help and wholesale looting. I will never look at italics again. *marks off list of WiPs* jenn email-- 2:24 p.m. The only size six Michael Rosenbaum is getting into is the one on his date. - by Hope musings on Lionel, Lex, and so forth -- 2003-01-22 After almost two hours of discussion last night and minimal sleep, I still cannot like Jonathan Kent. Give me a couple of weeks. I'll get objecctive again. I just don't buy a hot temper and paranoia is a get out of free card, otherwise, Lex is freer than Jonathan of wrongdoing these days. *sighs* For reference. Insurgence at a Glance. Poor Lex. For more analytical and intersting commentaries, try Eat Crow, where with any luck more analyses will be added. Hope's is already up. And for Celli, a Taxfic, in which taxes, and Clark, are done. Ooh yeah. I'm in a weird place. Recs: Once in a While by Pearl-o. Lovely, bittersweet, and tender all at once. That last paragraph made me ache. *sighs* Just beautiful. The Lionel in Winter by Ciel. I haven't laughed this hard with a good plotline in MONTHS. Lionel calls the family together. Lucas, Lex, and all. This is, not just fun, not just good, but some excellent character moments and the plot is hysterical. Plus, a moose-head. Yes. Really. I Am the Cheese by Bexless. *grins* It's FUNNY. Lex and Clark at a party, the boredom, teh post-party drunkeness, and how Swiss cheese got it holes. *giggle* Just. So. Much. Fun. Foreign Relations by Caro. *giggles* Okay, so I'm on a humor kick. Clark and escargot. And--other things. Oh yes, this is good. Other: I'm gripey about Jonathan, and I so want to rant, but I will not do it until the image of Lex all alone in Insurgence fades, because really, that's worth years of bitterness. And next week's trailer, with Clark saying that thing? That's good for years of evisceration. *hides from Livia* Is she gone yet? *grins* At this point, I'm beginning to want Lex to Just Go Evil Already. His own conscience just wrecks him as ruthless. He cares too much. If he gets rid of it, he will be at least somewhat happier in the fact that he'll be succeeding. Go Lex. Go to the dark side. Over there? You can find COMPETENT minions. And worship. Trust me--evil guys get tons of worship. See Pricklyelf quote tot eh left over there in the sidebar. You know, what's really obsessing me more than is probably healthy? Little Lucas Luthor. Jitters was the first time I got nervous about the entire Lex and Lionel dynamic, in Lionel's good natured sealing of the plant. Since then, I've gotten even more nervous--at this point, I just don't buy that Lionel loves Lex. It's pretty clear he doesn't like him, we get that, but there's always seemed to be evidence that Lionel at very least prefers his son alive and well. Lucas flipped that. Reading back retroactively--and this is possibly the creepiest thing I've actually considered--I don't think there's so much Lionel wants Lex to be strong, be a good rival, prove he's a good son and heir. I honestly am beginning to think that Lionel wants Lex to either disappear, be rendered completely powerless, or die. Someone on LJ--and if you see this, speak up so I can attribute correctly--said that Lionel stopped loving his son post meteor shower. The entire fragility of life and his realization of his own vulnerability to a kid that seemed destined to disappoint him and/or die on him. Along with that, the existence of a healthy, normal son with good hair. Kind of a starting-over point. And one free of memories of Lillian, at that. I liked that idea a LOT and especially now, I'm beginning to seriously buy it. I've read a LOT of Lionel is just plain evil fics and I usually didn't buy them, but....with Lineage, retrofitted Jitters, and now Insurgence, along with the thing with Helen, fucking Victoria, and Lionel's advanced mind games, I'm--not sure that attitude is off. I really don't think Lionel is training Lex to succeed him, and maybe he never has been. I think, in a very passive-aggressive way, Lionel is trying to kill or destroy his son and make way for Lucas. This is very speculative, so bear with me. I'm trying to work out how this fits, which it may or may not. Meta-fanfic, then. *g* I don't think he *sees* Lex as anything but a failure. At this point, there's nothing Lex could do that would redeem him as acceptable in his dad's eyes. As with Jonathan, Lex is pretty much damned no matter what he does--for Lionel, he has the image of a More Perfect Son in the wings to take over. Tempest may be the one and only time that Lionel wakes up to the fact Lex may just be catching on. The thing is? I don't think Lex has caught on yet. He doesn't know about Lucas--he's still flailing, caught between two disparate instincts. Wanting to be nothing like his dad, and wanting his dad's approval. What he learned from his mother, and the training from his dad. Which is frighteningly fucked up--he has great intentions and carries them out like his dad would carry out bad intentions. Even when he's done nothing wrong, instinctively, he guilts himself into believing he's completely responsible, and of course, ass-covering must commence, the Luthor Way. It's--a nasty cycle. That's probably what's bothering me most. Because, in a very weird way, I don't think this cycle is breakable from within at all. Lex can't break it--he's never going to convince himself that he and he alone isn't causing the entirety of every problem that comes up. Nicodemus is a really GOOD example of it, in which he wasn't really responsible for any of it but still not only convinced himself he was, embarked on a Great Cover-Up that almost cost lives. Vortex is a lesser example, because while he was responsible for Nixon getting interested in Clark, I have to say, the boy isn't psychic. He couldnt' have seen how this would turn out, any more than Chloe could have known posting on that website would drag out Rachel from hiding to make Clark miserable and nearly kill Lex, or Jonathan know that convincing the Ross brothers to sell would lead to LuthorCorp getting an unbreakable foothold in Smallville. Where Chloe apologized, sort of, and eventually sort of figured out she was way out of line, and *dealt*, Lex and Jonathan immediately took the entire thing to heart and went about bathing themselves in deep deep vats of guilt, managing to convince themselves that they and they alone were responsible and They Must Fix Their Mistakes Themselves. Frankly? On one hand, it's laudable--one thing Lex doens't really back down on is consequences, even if he can be really shortsighted in knowing there will be bad ones, and he really doesn't know when to, you know, LET OTHER PEOPLE FUCKING KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON. On the other, he's setting himself up for serious and non-necessary emotional trauma, wearing himself down to the point where, I think, he may choose not to care anymore, simply to outrun the guilt. Hmm. Lex isn't trying to kill his father even passively yet. Lucas is going to flip that. Despite everything, Lex still has family feeling involved that won't let him quite take that last step. He still thinks, at least on some level, that if he works hard enough, he can get what he wants, Dad's respect and approval. That's his training, that's what Lionel's taught him. What Lionel didn't tell him was this is a rigged game. I--think Lex gave up on Jonathan in Insurgence, or it's starting now with those words. Lex is going to lose Helen, find out about Lucas, and something really bad is going to happen with Clark. With Lionel, it's impossible for Lex to ever get Lionel's love and approval, because of who he is. With Jonathan, it's impossible for Lex to ever get his trust. And this can be argued a thousand different ways, but Lex cannot ever get Jonathan's trust, no matter what he does, until he knows Clark's secret. And that's the thing Jonathan (pretty much rightly from his pov) trusts him with least, so....yep. Vicious circle. One of the cool things about Smallville is being able to find a point where Lex could have chosen differently and gone on the right side, never turned into Clark's archenemy. I'm suddenly absorbing and internalizing the destiny thing big time. Because it is feeling inevitable--simple nurture is working against Lex here. It's circumstance, training, and pure, unadulterated short-sightedness on Lex's part, and he can't break it and no one can break it for him, because they don't *know*. Frankly, at this point? I'm almost sure the end already in motion, whether Lex wants it to be or even knows it is, and with that motion? It's unstoppable. Stopping woudl require Lex changing his very nature, like asking Jonathan to hold his temper once every few episodes, and that's not going to happen. I really need to find a television show where I'm not quite so ripped up after every damn episode involving Lex. I'm depressing myself. I console myself with chocolate and coffee and The One Bear, John, who is on my bed and what? You don't keep your bears on your bed for comfort? Pshaw. jenn email-- 9:45 a.m. The only size six Michael Rosenbaum is getting into is the one on his date. - by Hope the great phone hunt and other things -- 2003-01-20 You may not be aware of the danger of cordless phones. Do let me enlighten. They, like pens, odd socks, keys, and the occasional necklace, have a propensity for falling into black holes in space/time. It's a problem that I just don't think has been addressed enough. Take today. The cordless phone vanished. Okay, that MAY be an exaggeration. Except I don't think it is. It was taken outside for a phone call, then abandoned like the runt of the litter. We FORGOT about it. So, come an hour later, we all notice the little station is lonely. And we sort of need to make a phone call. Huh. Hit the little button on the station, the phone does that beep beep thing. Here's something you might not know. When one's phone has been carried off by dogs? Not so easy to hear. So, getting the cellphone, we trudged outside, waiting to see if the phone would ring. In the backyard, the phone was found. Frankly? I'm shocked it wasn't under the house. So. The Void didn't get out phone. THIS time. I wonder if one can call socks and make them come home. Other Freaky News: My aunt brought her dog to stay with us until the pound opens tomorrow. The dog's name is Queenie, which in itself tells me why the poor dog turned out the way it is. But I digress. Queenie first came to us as a gift for my son, a daschund mix. Strangely, soon after the giving, the gift was taken away while we considered the matter. While considered, the dog was hijacked by the giver, who then went and got the sibling of the dog and handed it over to us. We named the original dog Loki. Okay, I named it Loki and told everyone to deal. She called it Queenie. The second dog, the one we kept, is called Trixie Mulan (Disney, anyone?), much to my undying shame. Then of course, we did have a dog called Junior. *sighs* Moving on. Queenie lived in semi-blissful contentment with my aunt, the giver of dogs. Trixie lived with us. Queenie grew fat and kind of--weird. Trixie was sweet and chewed up things. Come to today, about a year and a half later. Queenie ate the other dog in the house. Now, to give you a visual. Queenie has the build of a daschund, but with a medium brown face and a seriously bizarre right eye that looks white around the edges. She weighs as much as a bag of flour. She's a lapful. She's a small dog. Queenie ate the chihuahua (sp). Granted, Princess (yes, I'm serious) was the runt of the litter, so she was small even by rat standards. She was kind of perky and not exactly bright, but she was fast and she lived in relative harmony with Queenie for well over a year, feasting on carpet and couch cushions. She used to sit and watch TV on my aunt's chest. Apparently, in dispute over who knows what, Queenie killed Princess and possibly ingested some of the remains. My aunt is in shock, but cannot keep Queenie, so off Queenie goes to the pound. I feel bad for her, but then again, I like my tendons a LOT and I'm not sure if she's ever seen my feet as threatening as an chihuahua the size of a guinea pig. I'm telling you, my life is getting WEIRD. In even more dog related news, we acquired a new dog. Being rural, we are often the recipients of dogs that are dumped--because people can't take the time to take them to the pound, a whopping fifteen miles away. Yes, the agony of a fifteen minute drive to be merciful. Anyway, we've had unfortunate run-ins with the survivors who occasionally end up joining coyote packs (no, I'm not joking) and going seriosly feral, or we find the bodies of the ones who didn't make it. And then we get these dogs that we don't know WHAT to do with. They're sweet and they seem great, and we get them either very old or very young and female--right around the time they'll go into heat. Connection? I think so. We usually end up having to shoot the feral or badly injured ones--I have some very bad memories of my youth of that. But for the healthy ones, especially the ones that hang around, we end up feeding and naming and taking care of, which has led to the situation we find ourselves in, with Goldie. No, I still can't name the animals. Something about my choices being too weird. Goldie is--beautiful. Maybe eight months old, gold and white coat, big, and she has the supersoft, thick fur of a puppie. She's friendly as hell, playful, energetic, extraordinarily loving--even the wild cats around the area like her. She's--actually the perfect dog, and for the life of me, this is freaking me out. Unattractive ones are dumped a lot, diseased ones, or bad mongrel crossovers--she's lovely to look at and has the perfect, ideal personality for a family of kids. I mean, there is NOTHING wrong with this dog, except she IS female, and for the life of me, I can't figure out why ANYONE would let her go. So we have acquired another dog. *sighs* And before the year ends, we'll acquire and lose six more as people continue to dump their strays and we continue to feel horrible about them starving and feeding them, and look around asking people if they need a good dog. Cats are treated the same, but cats seem to survive better or are just lower profile, since I've picked up strays since I was a kid--entire boxes of kittens sometimes. Grrr. This is why rural life frustrates me sometimes. Goldie is so getting shots and a collar and all kinds of love, because really, she's SO damn good that I can't see why anyone wouldn't love her. And there endeth my day of weirdness. jenn email-- 8:57 p.m. The only size six Michael Rosenbaum is getting into is the one on his date. - by Hope editing woes -- 2003-01-20 Cleaning the WiP folder is cathartic. Well, not really. Actually, it's tensing. I did this a little while back and also, in a fit of strange anality, started categorizing things. So. Edited, cleaned, and formatted for a webpage. I feel completely productive, considering I got out of getting beta'ed last night in AIM. Because I'm tricky like that. *blows kisses to beta fairy* In other news. I'm so bored. I COULD work on Rivka's beta of Standing in the Common Spaces, except now it seems--too short. Don't laugh. It just feels like there should be more to it. *sighs* I'm working out some inner sections, but then again, I'm in the mood to rip something apart and be happy doing it. Recs: Enfante Terrible by Devin Moonshine, who seriously know how to draw a reader in. VERY good story. Faintly creepy. Very hot. Very interesting. I really need to immerse myself in my to-read folder. It's just--I'm in the mood for something plotty. Heavy. Violence optional. Something with twists and turns and all kinds of weirdness, which, right, the fandom isn't in that phase right now, but still. It can't hurt to wish. Wish VERY VERY HARD. I'm also actively dreading the entire beta process for Somewhere. It's not that it's anywhere near acceptable right now--even for a first draft, it reads jerkily and a lot of sections suffered from how fast I was trying to get it out--it's just it's so damn LONG. Even doing it at thirty page intervals first to correct grammar/spelling/technical, then to start trying to remove some of my style quirks, then to check for flow, then to go over the entire thing for continuity (was it Houston or Atlanta? I still don't know), THEN to check it for language use, THEN repace it so it reads less--serially. I've never repaced anything, a problem that Jus Ad Bellum still suffers from. I just don't have an instinct for it. I'm a micromanager--there's a reason that I don't really skip much time in that story unless they are sleeping or driving. Koi called me on it big time in The Wasteland, but even with her pointing it out and me *knowing* something was wrong--I couldn't edit it enough. There's a reason I cover very short periods of time in a fic. I simply CAN'T gracefully skip over things. It freaks me out. Yes, I know that's weird. I deal with it marvelously well, thank you. But then I think of Iolokus by RivkaT and Mustang Sally, or some of the other Really Long Long Fic I've read, that actully DO pace naturally and I wonder how the hell they DO that. *grrr* I will either conquer this or--well, there is no or. On the bright side? Editing Common Spaces looks like a piece of CAKE compared to Somewhere. *grins* Thorn did some serious questioning of my premise and melo did some serious editorial cuts, and Rivka used a scalpel like a professional and there are tiny, tiny little pieces of ficness, though I am SO over the italics obsession. There's a twelve step program for it, by the way. Livia, the enabler of obsessions that she is--I at very least partially blame her for how Somewhere fermented in my head when we discussed Leech and Clark being human--gave me an odd idea. I don't think she'd approve of what it's turning into, though, but she told me a premise that is seriously sticking with me. Not quite obsession-level yet, but I'm thinking about it at odd intervals. Hmm. And another thought, totally unrelated. See? This is why I like my diary. I'm verbose here. LJ still freaks me out. Someone very sweet recced Somewhere to someone else, with the interesting addition that it's pure jenn. Granted, if you read Dust, 3IT, Sleep, and Wasteland on a kick, there's a generalized feel to them--I was seriously in the style gutter there and it shows even when I re-read. Somewhere, I spent time trying to strip as much of that out as possible--Rhiannon found one place I slipped and I've been removing a few more as I re-read and find them, though my eye on my own work is too biased to be sure of what I'm seeing most of the time. The present tense I can't do anything about--or I could, but I like it, therefore, I'm not worrying about it. But there are idiomatic (I think that's the right word) slips--Rivka caught me on the terrible abuse of italics and the overkill when I hit this level of verbosity that kind of scares me and slows down the story. The 'something like' thing that slipped in--I STILL can't pinpoint when that started or how or in the name of God, why. Most of it pinpoints from my time off the net, when I didn't have a lot of outside influence, and my reading was limited to certain authors. In three months my style and my methodology in writing changed rather dramatically, at least to me--I mean, there's a reason why Something Like Forgetting is so damn stalled. This latest changed it again, but I'm not sure it's necessarily a good thing. Or maybe this is just an adjustment period. Or something like it. Need to read up on Victoria's LJ entries about her style. She has a way of crystallizing what I can't quite articulate. Hmm. *looks at edits* Okay. Will edit now. jenn email-- 2:09 p.m. The only size six Michael Rosenbaum is getting into is the one on his date. - by Hope home on the range -- 2003-01-19 Okay, it's true. I've missed my diary. LJ is fun and addictive. Tara LJC just came on and asked me if it was dead. I said yes, then remembered.... I REALLY love my diary. *grrr* It's not impossible that I can keep both up. I'm just lazy. LJ still intimidates the hell out of me. Like... *thinks* Like being on a stage in diary, whereas in LJ, being in the middle of the audience. If you've been following along, the last month has been LJ Craziness. With the story portion a day and the jenn-goes-crazy-and-writes-rps and the pretty new design, but...hmm. I LIKE it here! I designed it! I tinkered with it! It makes me smile. I'm going play here more. For reference, since my last posting here, one novel completed in SV, two short stories, mentioned earlier, Christmas, New Years, a migraine, a lot of cookies, and generalized angst. Nothing interesting. Hmm, for content.... Somewhere I Have Never Travelled AKA Human!Clark. I'm still dazed by this. I honestly don't believe I've finished it sometimes. One of the coolest things I've ever read among authors is when they explore their process. I think it's fascinating--some people have music involved, or a certain word count, or a scene by scene. Some people are ultra-methodical and some are really--reckless. Some do WiPs, like I do, and lose interest and obsession easily. Some never post until they're absolutely sure they're done. Soem work best with other authors, and some work best alone and can't cowrite. During the last obsession, I had some time to actually watch myself write, since usually I burn fast--a week to ten days is as far as I can go without stopping, then rest, random additions, slow downs, start ups, you get the idea. There's a reason Jus Ad Bellum kicked my ass. I ended up pacing myself this time--six pages minimum, one full section at least, but no more than two or possibly three at a time. It was--enlightening. I finally get what Stephen King wrote once, that he wrote so much a day minimum. It helped in that each section in itself had to be intersting and hold the reader's attention, since they were only getting that much at a time. It helped that I deadlined myself so hard to finish a section every day. It helped that people EXPECTED me to do it and actually believed I could. It also helped that I wasn't trying to write twelve hours every day, which I have done before when I've gotten a really GOOD idea and I could give up sleep to do it. I wasn't trying to get everything out at once and frustrated with the fact I simply couldn't. I knew exactly how far I was allowed to go and no further, and I damned well made myself stop when I came to the end of a section, and only posted within the six-twelve page guidelines I'd set up for myself. Seriously, this is strange. It sounds--like discipline. Huh. How odd. Weirdly, I've always had the impression that pure creativity somehow got lessened by being too methodical about it. It's not that I actually BELIEVED that, because it's a silly idea, but that the impression always stayed at the back of my mind. So wow, a novel and a learning experience, all at once. Who knew? *grins* What was really cool, to me, was that the ending wasn't really decided for sure until around Day 24. I knew the rough concept of it, but how it would play out? Still could go so many damn ways. I'd talked it through with Devin Moonshine and Koi both, a little with Livia, but it was still in flux, and I ended up with an ending that was a combination of what I'd talked to them about. *sighs* Now, of course, Koi mulled with me the idea of a sequel. I like this universe. I like plot. I like the characters. It was fun to play here, and it would be even more fun to do it again. You know, when Somewhere is out of beta, I finish editing Standing in the Common Space and post it, and lalala, my WiP folder is a frightening place. I keep looking at it and feeling so guilty for all those litlte scribbles. God, I missed my diary. It just seems so damn friendly. *shakes head* Or I relaly am that weird. jenn email-- 10:59 p.m. The only size six Michael Rosenbaum is getting into is the one on his date. - by Hope |
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