The Junkyard
encouraging Lex's world domination since 2001
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The Junkyard encouraging Lex's world domination since 2001 |
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If you don't send me feedback, I will sob uncontrollably for hours on end, until finally, in a fit of depression, I slash my wrists and bleed out on the bathroom floor. My death will be on your heads. Murderers. I'm willing to accept vampires and mutants and aliens and gay chocolate milk giving cows, but human males do not get pregnant and they do not give birth! That's why he goes bad, you know -- all the good people hit him on the head or try to shoot him and constantly mistrust him, while there's this vast cohort of minions saying, "We wouldn't hurt you, Lex, and we'll give you power and greatness and oh so much sex..." "Pay-off for seedy ex-doctor to sew up bullet hole in your Krypto-Mutant Witness... one brown bag (containing an undetermined number of unmarked, non-sequentially numbered $100 bills, peyote, or both)" Obi-Wan has a sort of desperate, pathetic patience in this movie. You can just see it in his eyes: "My padawan is a psychopath, and no one will believe me; I'm barely keeping him under control and expect to wake up any night now to find him standing over my bed with a knife!" Is there anything that says, "Yes, I am a virgin, and all my beta-readers are, too," like...boiling ejaculate? Hot, scalding sperm? Burning seminal fluid? ...let's face it, with all that's happened to him this season, it's a wonder he's not spending every evening out behind the castle, drinking Night Train and shooting at squirrels..." "Welcome to ClarkLex. This is the list for people who watch Smallville mainly 'cause it's gay as a picnic basket. Yes, Smallville, starring Clark "Gayer than a leather pinata" Kent and Lex "Gay as Christmas at Bloomingdale's" Luthor, as two gay homosexuals who love each other, and did we mention they're gay?" Fic Quotes "Wait... wait... are you saying you're an alien?" "I mean, it's not every day that you get to come out as an alien. And gay. A big, gay alien."
So, you're going to get Clark the girl of his dreams, since that's less morally suspect than giving
him a truck. You're like the Make A Wish Foundation gone terribly, terribly wrong."
"It's not like we're trading blowjobs for chicken nuggets here."
"I was poisoned, Lex. Semen is the only antidote." "I did NOT fund research into the animation of dessert foods!"
"Clark, we're in a ditch with a stalled engine and two flat tires. In the *snow*. How could it be worse?"
There's just something about a man who's seven months pregnant and wearing a pair of custom made overalls and a white t-shirt with a nursing bra underneath.
The catering idea, of course, had been nixed almost immediately. Jor-El said that there was a great deal of feasting and partying on the day of the Dorzin Marjin, but that was Krypton, this was Kansas. Lex couldn't see this as a crudite and caviar on toast points event, even in Smallville. Though he did order a few bottles of good champagne, just because it seemed the thing to do; the odds seemed pretty high that someone in the Kent house would have to be drunk at some point, either in the before, the during, or the after. Virgin ass at seven, cocktails at eight, and homemade muffins for breakfast seemed very civilized and keeping in the spirit of the whole ass hymen ritual. Diaryland Archive ficlets, wips, and drafts
Something Like Forgetting 1 |
spoilers, attack of the clones, teague, recs -- 2002-05-19 SLIGHT SPOILERS FOR ATTACK OF THE CLONES!!!!! SPOILERS! Okay, for anyone who has seen "Attack of the Clones", read Teague's Recap immediately. I have not seen this movie, btw, but this is the single most hilarious thing I've read in FOREVER. FOREVER. It was tea and coffee-spitting-on-the-keyboard hysterical. A few quotes from that classic piece of work. Obi-Wan has a sort of desperate, pathetic patience in this movie. You can just see it in his eyes: "My padawan is a psychopath, and no one will believe me; I'm barely keeping him under control and expect to wake up any night now to find him standing over my bed with a knife!" and.... He goes to his magic special secret source, who tells him the poisoned Dart Fett used is from the Camino (sp?) system. Obi-Wan goes back to the temple to look it up on a map. Hmm... not there. But hey, there's a gravity well right where his source said the planet should be. Now how can the planet exist and not be on the map? Bewildered, Obi-Wan goes to consult the Baby!Jedi. Maternal Moment: OMG! They were so cute with their little training helmets and their little lighsabers. Awwww. Anyway, the Baby!Jedi tell him that someone must have erased it from the map. Yoda, who was training the little tykes, looks remarkably surprised by this surmise, and pretty much says "Hey, I never thought of that!" Obi-Wan is also stunned by this leap of logic. I told you the Jedi were stupid in this movie! and.... Their reaction can be pretty much summed up as, "Huh. Well that was unexpected." Yoda makes wise comments about the Dark Side clouding their vision. I, at this point, am still thinking that the Jedi are remarkably dumb. and.... Duku, subscribing to the Villainly belief that you should never just shoot your prisoners, but kill them in a dramatic and convoluted fashion with lots of witnesses, has them tied to posts, along with Obi-Wan, in the middle of a stadium. Russel Crowe comes out and... sorry, wrong movie. and yet more.... Obi-Wan and Duku have this huge cool fight, until Obi-Wan abruptly got distracted by something or other (maybe he saw a mirror? A shiny object?) and gets cut on his arm and leg. This renders him incapable of doing anything else the rest of the movie. Seriously, he can't even use the force after this. Read the entire joy of it. You will laugh and cry and love. I do. Now, for something else. Babylon by Hope, who rocketh beyond words to actually describe. Beautiful, beautiful, BEAUTIFUL story of Lex and an adolescence that's more pain than he can ever admit. Belief by Brighid. Stunningly beautiful, lyrical, it's BRIGHID for crying out loud! Read! More later. I just wanted to get this out quickly. Teague has GOT to do more recaps of things. I am so in love. jenn, still giggling email-- 1:15 a.m. The only size six Michael Rosenbaum is getting into is the one on his date. - by Hope things to read -- 2002-05-17 *sigh* It's sort of cute, in that way that all freaky things are, like three headed cows and unusually shaped warts. Check out anonymous comments number 1 and number 2. Yes, to answer your question before you ask it, Wendi. Anyways. Recs for the interested. Above, of course. And.... Somedays Better Than My Heart by Nestra. Wow. Another lovely, LOVELY bit of CLex to make me smile. ALOT. Sweet, a little aching, and I love a great deal. The Session by Christie. Lex/Lana. PWP. The pajamas are cute, the situation interesting, and I much liked. Hey, you like Chloe/Clark, I like this. It made me feel better about the world. But then, everything Christie writes is just lovely. So read everything. You'll enjoy. Now, being still in shock from Wendi and unable to CLexize without feeling blahed out, I opened my post-Nicodemus Lex/Lana to check out and see how bad it was. Surprisingly, it didn't make me flinch, and unsurprisingly, it's not finished. This is HARD. I feel CLex so much that it's easy to write it, but Lex/Lana is for some reason an effort--not because I don't see it either. It's just--I'm not SURE why, to be honest. I'm still mulling. Probably the fact I never write Lana, so it's rather difficult to get her voice in my head cleared out and walking in canon doesn't help, since she spends considerable time pissing me off. So. Here we go. ***** Change ***** The Talon was cold when she came in for work. It only got colder as the night went on. Maybe something vaguely to do with the newly installed air conditioning that she and Nell were still fiddling with, trying to find that elusive temperature that meant comfortable. Whitney always said she hadn't been born for Kansas winters and that was true, a lot more true than probably he'd meant, but she liked her layers, always had. Not quite a way to hide, but more of a way to defend these days, and she was feeling more defensive by the layer, t-shirt and sweater and light coat thrown over it all. Dark skirt that touched her knees, tights underneath, and she'd be in jeans if it had been appropriate as hostess that night. More people were watching her legs than ever before, and it made her clumsy, like the first time she'd carried a tray at the Beanery. Or maybe--just maybe, comforting and frightening thought--she was just noticing it now. Her thigh hit the side of another table and she mumbled an apology when their drinks rattled on the wood, smile frozen into the lines of her face. Whitney's friends were in the corner, hovering over basic coffee, and she chose not to think about what they were talking about--smiles that flashed quick and bright when she refilled their cups, changing when she turned away. Nell wasn't commenting, but then again, Nell might not have noticed. She wasn't here now, so it didn't matter either way. So it was a relief when closing time came and they ushered themselves out. Head down, stacking the cups, feeling the burn of heat on her face when their eyes lingered too long, and she forced herself to keep still, bending only when she needed to, and God, she'd do anything, anything at all, to go back forty-eight hours and be a princess again. "Are you all right?" Lana jerked around, almost spilling the remainder of coffee in the mug she'd been staring into. A hand on her arm steadied her, but at the same time, she couldn't help the instinctive flinch, and the fingers dropped instantly Heat burned into her skin again and when she looked up, Lex was watching her with his most blank expression. "I'm sorry." Very cool, and he removed the mug from her trembling fingers, somehow managing not to touch her at all in the process. God, this was so--she shook herself quickly and pushed back a strand of hair. "Sorry," she whispered, trying on a smile and tossing it out in hopes it looked more real than it felt. "Just--" "Long day?" Tiny hint of warmth and she looked up carefully, but Lex had relaxed. With a little shrug, he reached around her to pick up the others, and it took everything in her not to jerk away. Lex read body language by instinct--she'd noticed it before, wondered just a little on its origin, but the blue eyes flickered up and caught hers. Whatever he read there--and God knew, she couldn't hide an emotion if her life depended on it--made him move, sliding by to push the chair near her out and jerked his head to it. "Sit down. I'll be right back." Humiliation took a backseat to simply giving in, and she leaned an elbow into the table, shutting her eyes. The quiet, comforting noises of the kitchen were muted as Lex put the mugs aside, and she could hear him pick up the towel that she must have dropped. Light movement of air as he sat down beside her and a cup was pushed gently toward her elbow. She couldn't look at him--somewhere in her was the dawning realization that she might see it in his eyes, too. It. That. "I--thanks. I'm sorry." She wondered if her blush was covering her entire body and not just her face. Overheated skin and the edges of sweat, and comfortable she was not. There was the vague thought she might never be again. "Don't be. Drink that." She picked it up without thinking, taking a long drink of coffee, the better to avoid conversation, and tasted the edge of hard alcohol. Her body stiffened, she knew it, but she forced it down and Lex in her peripheral vision was leaning back in the chair beside her. Watching her again with that intense expression that was somehow both curiosity and-- --and God knew what else, Lex was about as readable as Chinese to her. The warmth penetrated and she was relaxing whether she wanted to or not. "Hard day?" She let the taste sit on her tongue and, for the first time, thought about it. Really thought about it, about everything that she'd been pretty much sublimating to keep some sort of control. Pink sweaters and long skirts, walking through school with the awareness of eyes that were imagining something black and stretchy, her hand digging into Whitney's; it was as if she really was just that fairy-princess-girl again, needing someone, anyone, to take care of her. She'd gotten what she'd wanted though--no one looked at her like a princess anymore. "Just--long." She took another sip of the coffee. "What--" "Rum. Very light, don't worry." Impersonal and so neutral, very Lex. Maybe... She looked up, and it was something--*something*--that he didn't look at her like that. She was just Lana, employee having a quiet breakdown in the Talon. It shouldn't comfort her, but it did. "Lana?" The clear gaze always seemed to look through her--looking for God knew what, she'd never quite figured it out. Something to do with Clark, she often thought--the long, studying glances that tried to see what Clark saw and never had. Or she could be overthinking--it wouldn't be the first time. "I'm fine," she said, and she almost meant it, really meant it. "So I can see," Lex answered dryly. "Finish the coffee and I'll drive you home." Easy movement into her employer, and Lana nodded shortly, letting her hair fall to obscure her profile from him. "I have the altered receipts from when you closed the Talon early--you might need to have Nell double check…." She didn't hear the rest, tuning out the sound of his voice and shutting her eyes. "Lex." She had to ask. She hadn't before--the car and the Talon's closing had been pretty self-explanatory, and she'd wondered briefly if she should volunteer to have his car detailed for him. But. "Lex, did anything else happen when I closed the Talon and borrowed your car?" She was looking at him now, caught the very faint edges of--something. Something that was like the looks in the hall, on the street, waiting tables, not quite the same, but close enough. Discomfort won for the time it took for her to draw a breath, before Lex was very much Lex again, and God, she wished she hadn't asked. "Nothing important." She'd love to believe that. ***** I'm still mulling it. I should have written the entire thing out right after I saw Nicodemus, but I--had something of a problem come up while writing it and stopped to fix it first, so lost the original thread of my thoughts. Anyway. For further reading--LaT on sadfic, morality, and so forth. I'll go meandering later to see what everyone else is doing. *g* jenn, bemused email-- 11:40 a.m. The only size six Michael Rosenbaum is getting into is the one on his date. - by Hope absolute morality -- 2002-05-16 Loving Sarah T and Her Defense of Jonathan Kent. I see the logic, I swear. I'm not blind to logic. But emotional versus logic in this case, I go with the emotional. Okay, I'm trying to figure out when I implied Jonathan might withhold affection from Clark for bad deeds--I'm not above saying something like that, but I didn't mean it in that way. I'm going to have to backread to make sure though and correct myself. I don't think Jonathan would necessarily do that. Even Obscura Jonathan, who has so thoroughly lost my sympathy that I cannot imagine doing anything but cheering should he die. Sad but true. The thing about moral codes is, I hold all absolutes to scorn. That's--probably not good on some level, I know. But absolutes are just--it's not just that they are inflexible, it's that they aren't practical. And frankly, they're dangerous. Which is why in The Gift, I was violently torn on how to feel about it. Buffy frustrated me and also enlightened me to a startling degree. Universes were at stake and her sister came first. But Dawn's life wasn't protected by Buffy's love, but by the fact of Dawn's humanness, I think. The love was part of it, but Buffy also left Glory/Ben alive as well, because Ben was human, and killed Angel to save the world, despite him recovering his soul AND the fact she loevd him. She drew the line that stated that humanity would never be her prey at any time, for any reason. And she refused to cross it. I admire that immensely--I cannot agree with it completely, but I admire it. The thing about Buffy in this is that she used those lines to define who she was as a person, as a human, and as a Slayer. She could go this far and no further, period, put her morality above necessity. I--really do get that and it's a powerful thing. She would have been changed by what she did if she'd killed Dawn, and she feared what she could become if she bent only once. It changed the stakes a little--on one level, she wasn't merely not killing Dawn, she was--saving her soul? Make that less melodramatic than it sounds and I think that's the picture I got. And when you balance your soul against the universe, things change dramatically. And if you're religious at all, the stakes become higher again when you do the balance sheet. I can't possibly agree with her choice. Even understanding it, even with everything that's behind it. Clark strikes me the same way. The absolutes are laid down in neat and orderly rows. I admire that immensely, but only to the point where I see it tested. And more importantly, when he personalizes it. Which is why while I don't agree with Buffy, I do admire what it took in her to say that and make that decision. She's worked for every one of her moral lines and she's tested them over and over. She's fallen over them and smudged them and confirmed them and died for them. I want to see Clark do that. Phelan hopefully isn't the last one that will make Clark examine what he believes and why. I want every one of his lines forced out one by one and him to decide each and every one. It's easy for him right now, what with his villians usually biting the bullet in another way after he doesn't kill them. He hasn't had to worry about NOT killing them and them coming back at him at a later date yet. He hasn't dealt with the Lex who will kill and get away and come back and kill again, etc etc. And the precedent he sets for this later habit of not killing Lex when he has the chance is the one that decides everything and I want to see it. Not becuase his dad told him killing is wrong, but because he stood there and made that decision for himself in NOT killing someone. Phelan qualifies a little, but not completely. Clark needs real temptation. Confusing, I know, and I'm not contradicting myself. I can seriously admire without agreeing. If Clark's lines are drawn and confirmed BY him, not just because he believes them from childhood training, but because he's lived them, had them tested, and the conscious and reasoned choice was made to keep them no matter what, I'm good with him. I might utterly disagree with all that is in me, but there we go. Sarah T is right--I'd hate to live in Te's Past Grief universe, because frankly, that's beyond moral flexibility and into almost perfect amorality, without the ability to know that you ARE changed by the lines you cross. Chrysalis by Destina that I adore is the perfect example of Lex's cross that changes him, whether he completely realizes it or not. Lanning's Lord of the Flies, with Lex's decision not to assassinate his father and Clark's calm answer to the killing question,is another one. However. The other thing, because I overthink things. I would feel safer living in a world with the priggish Superman, true, and prefer it to the Past Grief world as a place of residence. But I'm also not terribly sure that I'd want to spend much time around him, nor could I completely trust him, and I don't think that universe would necessarily be that much safer--it would however, have a better image of safe stamped over it, a cleaner illusion. Because those absolutes are just as dangerous when there's an enemy that can't be allowed to live. Or something along those lines. *sighs* Human civilization has been around awhile and we're still figuring this out, so it would be pretty easy to dispute everything I said and be right. There's a REASON I should never be Superjenn. Off to give myself less of a headache. Three entries in one day. Dear God. jenn email-- 10:55 p.m. The only size six Michael Rosenbaum is getting into is the one on his date. - by Hope fear factor and rambling -- 2002-05-16 Oh Wendi, you bitch. I love you and all that, worship your socks, but you are just... *sits down on the floor and thinks* I didn't need that. I got off my defense of happyfic high and crash like a junkie off a three day bender. Grazie. Read this from the girl who broke me. But, no. The world loves Lex, and we're pulling for him, and in the end he will lose. Not just stupid battles in a war with Superman, but he will have lost that window of opportunity to be someone different. To be loved and accepted and worthy of sacrifice and friendship and all of the things that Clark is going to take away from him when he pulls back into the big, strapping superhero and self righteous bastard that Jonathan has raised him up to be, all of his life. Btw, combine this with Black Balloon by Goo Goo Dolls for your musical masochism, you are going to be on a ledge. I'm pulling out my Depressing Mix as we speak--if I'm going to be in this mood, I'm going to do it all the way *growls* Okay, last time I got like this, I wrote myself into a crying fit and killed a character--no, not in this fandom, so stop smirking. So. If it's going to be destruction, why not do it all the way? I mean, seriously--hate's powerful stuff. It's better than love or sex in the end. The only thing that beats it out is fear. I'm not getting philosophical, so stop raising your eyebrows. Fear is the best damn motivator on the planet. It really is. Fear brings out the worst decisions, the worst actions, the worst there is in people, every one of their basest instincts. Hate comes from that, right, but you can love someone and fear the hell out of them. Which comes down to the fact that in this incantation of Smallville, is the hate going to be the motivator or the fear? Slasher perspective--I won't even try to do this from a gen or het view, because I can't do it well. Fear is a BIG thing in Smallville. Not surfacely, but when you meander through their possible motivations. Clark's fear of what he is, not to mention his own past (see LaT on Obscura for explanation of the fear factor for Clark). Lex's cross-fear of turning into his father combined with the fear of never been as good as his father, cross with disappointing Clark, and so on and so forth. Whitney had an episode devoted to his fear known as Kinetic--of being nothing more than another good ole boy of Smallville. Jonathan's fear of someone discovering what his son is. I mean, the show might as well be called What Happens When You Let Fear Win. Jonathan is Poster Boy of it. Whitney too. Clark and Lex are a lot more subtle, but that's the thing. Clark might not become Superman necessarily because of what he is, but what he fears he could be. It's like... Damn Pricklyelf. I actually think I know how to write this. Long conversation last night on the idea of that ends up being fear. And this Buffy episode review that kicked monumental rear end. Loved it. But. To get back to the point, she asked me a load of questions (she DOES that and then just grins when I stumble through. The girl HAS to be reincarnate of Socrates or something) on the concept of lines. Clark's are pre-drawn for him, which is the backing to the Clark Is Meant To Be Good. Interesting. His parents penciled in his inner lines, his Right and Wrong, how far he can go toward the line and where his toes can't quite brush. It's basically what any parent does when they raise their child, for that matter, but Clark's are reinforced more than most. Because when he jumps lines, really BAD things occur, like assaults of certain police officers. He chooses in the end to follow them, to leave them just as clean and clear as his parents made them, never to go farther than this, and hence we have Superman. I--I think he likes that. Hmm. Okay, to put it a different way. The easiest thing for Clark to do is simply follow his upbringing, what he was told, what he was taught. Not because it's something integral to his character, but because to explore those boundaries takes not just effort, but immense amounts of personal risk. Risk to other people if he pushes too far, personal risk to himself if he finds the dark just a little too addictive. Or how thoroughly it solves problems--I mean, let's face it, unless I'm reading comic canon wrong, why the HELL isn't Lex dead? If I were Superjenn, and had those boundaries, the word that comes to mind is Assassination. Save the world with one life. Easy to do. Very simple. And practicing morality aside, the truth is that on a purely ethical level, killing Lex is the single MOST ethical thing he could do, since he will concretely save lives. He knows he will. Not moral. Ethical. But he doesn't, instead plays out this eternal conflict thing that's yes, romantic as all hell and beautifully artistic and very very Greek by way of Shakespearean tragedy, but in the end, really damn unnecessary. It's saying that his personal moral code is more important than someone's life. If you reduce it to the most basic level, it's saying that Superman's idea of right and wrong is MORE important than the five year old girl playing on the street who is GOING TO DIE along with all her playmates if Lex's Superweapon #16 gets going good. Hmm. Lex, interestingly enough, has not a line in him. He admits that--hell, he practically tells Dominik that his father's favorite bit of advice was PR based, not ethics based. Looking at that, Lex is drawing his own lines and doing it to the absolute best of his abilities with the information he has, which is basic human nature and not a hell of a lot more. And he erases those lines when they don't work, takes risks because there is nothing in him other than his own judgement to tell him if he's crossing into a very Bad Zone. I can't even prove he KNOWS when he's crossed lines--but there is that sense that something in his head alarms him when he's pushing too far. So he draws lines and tries to work from there, observes other people and uses their reactions to more or less confirm or refute his choice. Which Jonathan Kent, being that perfect god of ethics among men, spends quality time telling him that no matter the hell where he draws a line, he's coming out on the wrong side. That it will NEVER matter how sharp his lines are, what he does, or where he ends up, he will NEVER get it right. I'm going to lobby that Lex be allowd to kill Jonathan and that's how the break between Lex and Clark happens. At this point, I may write it. But anyway. The fear thing is a motivator on keeping people doing or NOT doing certain things. We dont' jump into deep bodies of water wearing lead boots or without a nice lifejacket, we keep a parachute handy when we go skydiving, and we don't screw around with scissors and the outlets in the wall. What interests me, in thinking over all the possibilities, is the possibility it's not going to be hate or a Great and Bad Action that's going to break up Clark and Lex for good. It's going to be fear--Clark's fear not only of what Lex IS, but how strong his own inner lines are when they are compared to our pretty Lex's practical agent of moral anarchy. Backing off from the contamination, fear of it spreading, the seductive hiss of, look how Lex's lines are all pencilish and crossable and wouldn't it be COOL if mine were too? Fear of being corrupted would be an INTERESTING way to handle the break. When Clark puts his own moral code above not just his own feelings, but Lex's as well. Which would be extremely--er, consistent with the Great Greek Tragedy of Lex and Clark. Clark may never hate Lex, ever. He may hate Lex's actions, hate the kind of person he is, but I'm not entirely sure Clark will ever be able to hate Lex himself. But fear him? Yes. And that same fear of Lex would keep Clark on that straight and narrow path of morality and I'm doing circles. I'm going to write desertfic. Someone, anyone, write me happyfic. Please. Please, please, please. *sighs* jenn, whiney and depressed email-- 4:09 p.m. The only size six Michael Rosenbaum is getting into is the one on his date. - by Hope destiny and happyfic -- 2002-05-16 We love Pricklyelf. Anyone know WHY we love her? She made me THINK. As a rule, I'm opposed to actually thinking through my stories until they are at very least MOSTLY done, and at that point, I go back and then say, ah, LOOK there at that pretty theme! Mmm. Of course, she's been listening to me whine about desertfic for a week? two weeks? so maybe she just got tired of it. *sigh* So. I don't have a Plan. But I have an Idea. Which really means nothing except I can no longer avoid writing it because I don't know what to do with it. I can upgrade to not writing it because I don't know HOW to write it. Very fine line there. I like it. And. Some teasing is bad. I'm being teased by fic. TEASED, dammit. Bah. Few recs first, because I found some things that made me intensely happy. A Good Year for the Corn by Beth. Hmm. Okay, read it. Just--jump in and read it straight through. Enjoy Beth's very sick, very wonderful, very evil mind. Mull the fascinating possibilities. Be happy. I love her. I LOVE HER. Smallville Fic by Jayne Leitch. While looking for something to read last night, stumbled across this. Special rec to Psychodrama, which is of the Basingstoke school of seemingly unrelated single scenes that somehow go together anyway. I'm unnerved as hell after reading that one. No idea in hell how I missed that one. It's--shivery. In some really unconscious level of the brain. Six Pieces by Pearl-O. And another one of those stories that has related scenes that don't seem related and yet are. See a pattern here? When I first saw this style, I hated it. Of course, the first time I saw this style was a fandom ago, the story was so bad I wished I could wipe it from my memory, and I was sleepy at the time. I've been reconciled beautifully. The Muse Debates seem to have wound down while we all contemplate our thumbnails or whether we have a true writer's muse or are museless. Won't even go there again--I have this sneaking suspicion that this borders on not only a personal-feelings thing but also an elitist-literary thing and I'm very unqualified to argue from a literary pov. Or really want to, for that matter. There's a reason I wasn't hot for lit classes throughout my education. Now, for something different. Victoria on the sadfic phenomenon. I love the idea of them still loving each other and yet *hating* each other. Of them standing across the divide, staring each other down, each allegedly willing to do whatever it takes to stop the other, except. They don't. Superman never eliminates Lex Luthor. He simply neutralizes him. He always leaves him around to fight another day. And by that point, Lex must know all of Superman's weaknesses. And yet... And yet... they continue, locked in this dance of hate-in-love, or love-in-hate. It's a thing of beauty. It's almost Greek in its symmetry. Yes. Okay. Long ass ramble coming up, so be prepared. But. Hmm. On zendom, someone was doing a survey of why people choose to write canon or AU or prefer to read canon or AU. I'm a split on this one--I like both equally well. Since I consider the slash pretty damn canonesque, I don't even consider the slashiest stories true AUs until their Jossed. So. Voyager I stuck close to canon and wrote in the white spaces or a controlled AU of canon. X-Men there wasn't even a real choice but a version of AU or extended history. Smallville.... Smallville MAKES me want, badly, to rewrite canon. Forget the tragedy. Forget the comic history. Forget the inevitability. Forget everything you thought you knew. Smallville already killed more canon of Superman than one might have deemed possible. Smallville is, like someone said, and if you said it, TELL ME so I can quote you, television fanfiction. There are a lot of complaints about the writing, about the subtext per episode, about the really BAD VotWs, about Lana, about everything, but the truth is, the writers of this show are seriously kicking some ass when it gets down to it. They don't seem to really give a crap about the details of canon. They're capturing, unevenly and sometimes very awkwardly, what I think is the actual spirit of the myth. If we avoid a Dawson's Creek teen melodrama thing going, then it should be absolutely fascinating. If they get Clark dirty, I'll be blissed out. Me, I live for the day that someone, anyone, lets Clark start out as a really not so nice juvenile delinquent and THEN move him up into Superman. Nature versus nurture in action. Oh right, I'm mulling THAT one, thanks to Hope and Te, bless their demonic little hearts. But. The tragedy aspects. Maybe it's because I don't feel it yet. Or maybe it's because they do the Anvil of Foreshadowing over my head so often I'm as concussed as Lex is after all his head injuries. The knowledge of inevitable badness is there--but then again, you can predict any show on the TV like that, since the word Subtle rarely applies to television--with the exception of Buffy, who can curve ball at any given time and fuck anything you THOUGHT were expectations into the ground (Yes, I want to marry Joss when I grow up), every show on TV is pretty much an exercise in getting to an ending that we all already pretty much know. On any given TV show, we can mark out the One True Pairing (or True Pairings) within the first six episodes of any run. This is not a huge shock that Lex is going bad--if this was any other show with other characters not related to the Superman mythos, the anvil would still be there and we'd all feel the doom of it. The entire Lana situation is an import from any known teen melodrama out there, complete with triangular Chloe thing. We don't need the comic canon to tell us any future info on this storyline--it's television and these guys who write aren't the biggest innovators or risk takers on earth (though who WOULDN'T give a major organ to see Joss do a season, or God, David Lynch a la Twin Peaks?). We just happen to have more information than the average TV show gives us, so our denial has to be raised to an art form, for those of us who drool over Lex/Clark like rivers in Egypt. The very nature of television makes it impossible for the writers/producers/whatever to do ninety percent of the storylines we'd love to see, not due to the slash, but due to the fact that the lowest common denominator of watchers is catered to--in effect, they aren't trying to court the lovers of the show, but the casual viewers. Twenty Four this season was a very, VERY high risk show with the expectation of watcher commitment taken for granted. Twin Peaks (and God, do I miss it) was incredibly beyond words high risk. Anyone remember Fox's "Profit", the villian-pov one hour show that was all about the joys of watching a sociopath get ahead in the business world with a beautiful lack of concern for his fellow man? Another REALLY innovative bit of television that died. We've covered my shock that Joss has been able to do even a tenth of what he's done and what no other writer on television has been able to accomplish in not one but TWO shows. Btw--for the purposes of this entry, thing network TV, not cable. Right, right, moving on to the entire point of this one. When I first flickered into Smallville, I was discussing it with my darling Sare Liz, a former "Lois and Clark" ficster/shipper (GOOD writer, btw), and we had this very cool long email thingie about the impossibility of my really sudden interest in slash. Her arguments against it were ones that Victoria uses above to explain her love of the sadfic. The ying and yang principle. The dark versus light, the nature versus nurture, the need for every absolute good to have an absolute bad to balance it out. And vice versus. Assuming I'd agree with her on Clarks' Absolute Good, and if I did, I never would have been interested in Clark at all. Which I didn't and I still don't but that's another issue for another day. Everything Victoria says above about this really gorgeous conflict is true and it IS epic in proportion. These characters are going to change the world by their very nature. They are going to hate each other with a passion that defies description and remake the world between them. Lex right now would be rather surprised that in a good twenty years, he'll be sitting comfily in the White House with some seriously nefarious plans in motion and mulling new and interesting ways to dismember Superman with a red kryptonite saw and some imagination. Clark now would be stunned to note that he'll be spending a good chunk of his superheroing life doing nothing BUT foiling Lex in some manner. Lex of the future would be very bored and probably suicide if Superman stopped existing, since he'd have nothing to do (conquerers are notoriously freaky about becoming full-time bureaucrats, see Alexander the Great, William the Conqueror, Clovis, Julius Caesar, Charlemagne). Superman would probably end up being really, really damn bored with chasing kittens from trees on a daily basis with only a really COOL enemy showing up every once in awhile to test him, to justify him, to show how very good and clean and perfect he is compared to Lex. So the question is, for me, not what is happening in the white spaces of Smallville life for the most part, what we already know is destiny. Not the journey toward the epic confrontation, because that's the part I know. What really makes me sit down and want to write is the fact that this epic conflict doesn't exist yet. And the ten billions outs the writers give us about how very uninevitable it really is. How it can be changed. How it can become something entirely different. How the characters can learn to define themselves as more than two absolutes fighting for control of the world. Because let's face it, that's a damn romantic concept in itself. And that was rambly and barely on topic at all. Clarify. I want happyfic as a romantic girl who just loves Clark/Lex and really REALLY wants Lex to be happy. And I want happyfic not because the sheer romance of being Enemies That Were Once Friends doesn't appeal to the romantic tragedian in me (it really REALLY does on so many levels), but because for me, personally, that's the easy way out. It's going to be very, very easy to break them apart when it comes to the moment. What I want to know is, what work would it take so it DIDN'T happen. If we go with destiny and say, okay, this is HOW it's got to be, then the challenge isn't in breaking them apart or marking the steps to get there, but making them defy whatever idiotic stars said this is the way it has to be. You know, my little yell. Screw Destiny. Personal thing on that one. I'm also a newfound worshipper of Destina with Chrysalis, which makes me smile with so much sheer good humor it's sort of scary. Okay, that was long, rambly, and of very little sense. Go figure. jenn email-- 1:41 p.m. The only size six Michael Rosenbaum is getting into is the one on his date. - by Hope and yet more recs, gen and het -- 2002-05-15 So. Hmm. Te and her views on the need for happyfic. And why she writes it. I'm very much nodding along with this one, complete with a big banner stating Yes They Must Be Happy. In Any Way Possible Together. Apocalypse? Bah, let it happen. They can share a fallout shelter and screw like radiation tainted bunnies. I want them together. I REALLY want them together. I will go great and incomprehensible lengths to get them together. *g* So I have an ulterior motive during writing. It's fun this way. I've been browsing through my non-CLex fic, so a few recs for all who are interested. We'll call this The CLexless Review. The Sixth Hour by Tara LJC O'Shea -- (link provided by the glorious Lilah)Posted to the level_three list March 21, 2002. I liked it. I wasn't sure I would, but it was an interesting and fun read. Hospital Coffee by Tara LJC O'Shea -- (thank you Lilah!) level_three released, March 31, 2002. One of my Chloe Reading List fics, and a Chloe that's not Mary Sued, thank you God. I REALLY liked this one--all the interactions are spot on and interesting. Small Potatoes by Allison Skye -- a lovely LOVELY Whitney POV. This story is one of the many reasons I am learning to love Whitney. What It's Like For a Girl by Edie -- Okay, REALLY love this Chloe fic. Okay? Read it, enjoy it, giggle with it, have fun with it. Just great. Die Hand Die Verletzt by Jayne Leitch -- See, this is what happens when I forget to categorize on arrival. Futurefic, take the title a little bit literally. Very intense Lex POV, and--it's different than what I expected. Coming Second by zahra. A post-Crush Chloe story (and God, poor Chloe). Wonderful grasp of Chloe's dilemma. Very much so. Hell Money by Fayjay. This is what I find while searching for links. Wows. I mean, seriously, wows. Anthropologist on Mars by Fayjay. *g* Not technically CLex, Clark POV, and a really good answer to how Clark can be smart and still lack the basic concept of being at all perceptive. Chrysalis by Destina Fortunato. Okay, I lied aobut the Clexlessness. I knew this story would hurt. I put it off. I skipped it every time I saw it. It did hurt. But it also made me smile, because--I LIKE this. Ouch. And go Lex. Hmm. And now that I'm actually IN level three archive, I might as well catch up on my reading. More later. jenn email-- 1:53 p.m. The only size six Michael Rosenbaum is getting into is the one on his date. - by Hope recs and more recs -- 2002-05-14 Ah, me. I'm blahed, but my first beta on CLF is partially back, so at least I can edit. I want to get rid of it so badly I can TASTE it. Anyway. Recs. Karma Demands by Shrift. Oh yeah. Lovely little post-disaster story, with a chicken. You are SO going to love this. Affirmation by Kitty Fisher. Mmmm. Lex. Alcohol. Angst. Clark. SHOWER. Beautiful Lex characterization I seriously, seriously love. And, you know, sex. Always good. Flying Blind by Redheaded Firecracker. *grins* What if? Yes, this is one of those that I've been envisioning regularly. Love it. Go love it too. Yes, I know I'm late in reccing it, but hey, I'm still finding stories from the months I was gone that are all new to me and tres cool. Teliko by Grail. Ouch. There's ALOT I could say, beside the fact this depressed the hell out of me, but I won't, because, well, it DID. It's a gorgeous, simple, and devastating Clark POV, and painfully true. I'm not recovering from this anytime soon. Well, damn. I'm mulling the concept of the hopeless fic. I don't do it often. I mean, out of all twenty something stories in this fandom, only the Spaces series and Only Sometimes are hopeless, and my perky tendencies took over for the latter and I started writing a sequel. Technically, I could go back and fix Spaces, but I sort of don't want to. Not sure why, except it's so pretty as is, I don't think I could do anything but spoil it. But. I read them far too often. Yes, doom and gloom and it's going to be over, and ouchies. Like some werid masochistic part of me has to weigh in and say , well, if you aren't going to WRITE it, you must read a lot of it. *sighs* It's far more unfair that so much of it is devastatingly plausible, and Grail's latest just might have broken me. Not for good, but just for today. Or at least, the next few hours. Anyway. Fiction. Sarah T's Immanence still brings tears to my eyes. Mock me at will--that story hurts, for entirely different reasons, and it should be recommended reading for all of us who want to shove Clark's head down a toilet. It's like super-detox of Clark dislike, and it's stunningly beautiful. Sad, too, but not in the way I expected when I started reading it, but--hmm. I can't explain and I won't try. If you've read it, you know what I mean. Especially Lex's dialogue. Damn, I may need a tissue. Breathing Amber. Creepyfic. Not exactly sad, but skin-crawlingly disturbing just below the surface. But then, Sarah T tends to always have an unexpected effect on me, even when I think I know what I'm getting into. I suppose that's why I usually read her whenever I feel blahed. I'm never quite sure WHERE she's going to go in a fic, and even if she goes the way I half-expect, she takes a really unusual route to get there. Among everything she's written, these two are my favorites for the sheer cool shock of them. But then, all her stories are like that--very calm, rational surface look until you check out what's swimming just below. Anyway. For curiosity, I set myself a reading course in Chloe/Lex. I have a group of recs taken from TWoP and people who read that pairing, have the stories found, and am going to read straight through. There is no good reason for me not to like this pairing. If I'm willing to let it slide Clark is fifteen/sixteen, then I should be able to let Chloe. I'm beginning to think, however, that age isn't the issue, but Kathe and a couple of other authors are gonig to prove it to me. I have a distressing feeling I may have found my single pairing fandom. Granted, I always have a primary pairing, but--this is six months and I'm still writing the same damn pairing without a true infidelity in sight. Even my Lex/Lana weakness is growing faint under the fact that Christie is so far the only author I feel it with. All kinds of strange going on here. I really want to like Lex/Chloe, if for no other reason than I can play around with some other plotlines and just maybe keep my ability to write het decently. But. Hmm. Not happening. Probably would help if I could find some genuine Chloe/Lex interaction on the show, but I'm not seeing it. At all. In any way. Anywhere. Grr to me. And that thing with inspiration, that I talked about yesterday? That sometimes, an idea sits in the back of my head for a long time until it suddenly demands to be written? It's moving slightly and jumped while I was reading Grail's story and Immanence. Not sure why. It doesn't need to be written yet, but I get the feeling that I can count the days on one hand before I have to start an outline. Freaky creative streak. *sighs* Off to be productive. jenn email-- 1:56 p.m. The only size six Michael Rosenbaum is getting into is the one on his date. - by Hope belated recs -- 2002-05-13 The recs I missed. CLexy: Making Up by Beth. *eg* I love Beth. First of three parts. You will enjoy. Underlayment by Miriam Heddy. Oh hot. Interesting. Fascinating. And again, hot. *nod* Arcadia by Valentine. Wow. A X-Title challenge, a futurefic, and a new way to go about this. Beautiful, possible, and hopeful. Enjoy muchly. What Matters by Julad. Oh. Wow. Um. I'm thinking. Hot, yes, intense, yes, fabulous visuals, yes. Read it. Very good. Evolution by Pablo. Okay, normally I'd be a little thrown by the characterization, but two straight read-throughs convinced me. Interesting, not terribly nice, and cruel in a lot of ways. Lovely. Very, very lovely. Local Call by Grail. DAMN I loved this. This author must be encouraged. Stalked. Bribed. Whatever works. Wow. Now that the recs are out of the way.... I'm feeling boring today, mostly due to the fact my concentration is pretty much shot to hell right now, but I have new music, which should help me focus. And I have a new desk chair, since the unfortunate incident that led to the snapping of the original's back. It's a sad, sad story. My first desk chair, gone, but not forgotten. *sighs* Me? Sentimental? Who would have guessed? More later... email-- 12:23 p.m. The only size six Michael Rosenbaum is getting into is the one on his date. - by Hope |
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