The Junkyard
encouraging Lex's world domination since 2001
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The Junkyard encouraging Lex's world domination since 2001 |
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If you don't send me feedback, I will sob uncontrollably for hours on end, until finally, in a fit of depression, I slash my wrists and bleed out on the bathroom floor. My death will be on your heads. Murderers. I'm willing to accept vampires and mutants and aliens and gay chocolate milk giving cows, but human males do not get pregnant and they do not give birth! That's why he goes bad, you know -- all the good people hit him on the head or try to shoot him and constantly mistrust him, while there's this vast cohort of minions saying, "We wouldn't hurt you, Lex, and we'll give you power and greatness and oh so much sex..." "Pay-off for seedy ex-doctor to sew up bullet hole in your Krypto-Mutant Witness... one brown bag (containing an undetermined number of unmarked, non-sequentially numbered $100 bills, peyote, or both)" Obi-Wan has a sort of desperate, pathetic patience in this movie. You can just see it in his eyes: "My padawan is a psychopath, and no one will believe me; I'm barely keeping him under control and expect to wake up any night now to find him standing over my bed with a knife!" Is there anything that says, "Yes, I am a virgin, and all my beta-readers are, too," like...boiling ejaculate? Hot, scalding sperm? Burning seminal fluid? ...let's face it, with all that's happened to him this season, it's a wonder he's not spending every evening out behind the castle, drinking Night Train and shooting at squirrels..." "Welcome to ClarkLex. This is the list for people who watch Smallville mainly 'cause it's gay as a picnic basket. Yes, Smallville, starring Clark "Gayer than a leather pinata" Kent and Lex "Gay as Christmas at Bloomingdale's" Luthor, as two gay homosexuals who love each other, and did we mention they're gay?" Fic Quotes "Wait... wait... are you saying you're an alien?" "I mean, it's not every day that you get to come out as an alien. And gay. A big, gay alien."
So, you're going to get Clark the girl of his dreams, since that's less morally suspect than giving
him a truck. You're like the Make A Wish Foundation gone terribly, terribly wrong."
"It's not like we're trading blowjobs for chicken nuggets here."
"I was poisoned, Lex. Semen is the only antidote." "I did NOT fund research into the animation of dessert foods!"
"Clark, we're in a ditch with a stalled engine and two flat tires. In the *snow*. How could it be worse?"
There's just something about a man who's seven months pregnant and wearing a pair of custom made overalls and a white t-shirt with a nursing bra underneath.
The catering idea, of course, had been nixed almost immediately. Jor-El said that there was a great deal of feasting and partying on the day of the Dorzin Marjin, but that was Krypton, this was Kansas. Lex couldn't see this as a crudite and caviar on toast points event, even in Smallville. Though he did order a few bottles of good champagne, just because it seemed the thing to do; the odds seemed pretty high that someone in the Kent house would have to be drunk at some point, either in the before, the during, or the after. Virgin ass at seven, cocktails at eight, and homemade muffins for breakfast seemed very civilized and keeping in the spirit of the whole ass hymen ritual. Diaryland Archive ficlets, wips, and drafts
Something Like Forgetting 1 |
video recs -- 2002-04-14 I forgot a hero! Victoria, who has left me a list of kick-ass music recs as well. I'm going to be BUSY today! All hug Victoria! There's nothing quite like watching three CLex videos back to back to remind you that not ONLY are you obsessed, you don't care anymore that the fine line HAS been crossed and dammit, this is NOT subtext people. I've seen less chemistry in porn. Not that I watch porn or anything.... Anyway. I'm not sure of the etiquette of reccing videos. So if I put a webpage and you own the video and don't like that, email me and I'll remove the link. Andy's delicious "Quasimodo" one just rocks. DAMN. On Music Videos My God. The Different. My, my God. See? This is NOT subtext. And.... #1 Crush, which I don't know where it came from and can't find the place it was originally stored. Mmmm. Delicious stuff. Happiness is mine. It really, really is. And the Robitussin kicked in. Life is sweet. Okay, going to go take a nap and then do all the stuff I've been putting off. Or at least, about three of them. jenn, happy email-- 3:10 p.m. The only size six Michael Rosenbaum is getting into is the one on his date. - by Hope random rambling -- 2002-04-14 I'm going to be rambling ALOT here, so be prepared. Pretty sure you're going to be bored to tears. Soundtrack of the Day: "The Different", "Not an Addict", "Goodbye to You" Hero of Saturday: Laura JV. Everyone hug her for her public stance on idiots masturbating in public. Also--LochNess' essay on community. She's described every email list I've belonged to. Wow. If you've sent me email to my gateway/igg addy in the last twenty-four hours and I haven't answered, there's an excellent chance it didn't get to me. Lateo, Kathe, Wendi, Bishclone, Bonnie, Peggy, got yours, have answered some. The POP interface for my main account just sucks, so unless you seemed to need an answer fast, I put it off a bit until I can find a decent email program. So. Anyone. sepers@yahoo.com God, I miss Outlook. Interesting things: Bethy posted Outcome. *smiles* My morning is VERY pretty. And check out the ever so talented Te's Sweat. Do remember to take a towel with you--trust me, you'll need it. My Heros for Sunday--Wendi and Kat sent me music recs, lots and LOTS of music recs. And I forgot to add to my list of Music I Listen to Far Too Much--Not an Addict. Embrance your inner heroin junkie. So. New playlist. And. If you're one of the ones that tested out the keyword combination I gave yesterday to get to this page from google, you have ANY idea what my stats look like? I feel like a dental hygentist in a porn movie. *g* That was hysterical. Tres cool. I'm bored, I'm nauseated (literally, allergy attack, bad thing), and Pornfic #2 is looking at me with wary eyes. Okay, it's not looking because it doesn't have eyes, BUT it WOULD be looking if it could. Plus, I am almost relentlessly alone until Tuesday night, so I have a truly frightening amount of free time starting right now. This is Not Good. I am more likely to be productive when I have lots of things I'm avoiding doing, and the only thing I'm avoiding right now is Jus Ad Bellum Interlude 5, only because it's on my other hard drive and I can't access it until my sister's boyfriend calls to explain how he managed to lock me out of one of my own directories. *blinks* Andy sent me her first sections of the Smallville novel we're working on together. She asked if it was 'okay'. Let me gently laugh. I'm going to tell you a little about Andy. Andy is under the odd impression that she is incapable of forming a coherent sentence in literature. I've often considered shock therapy to relieve her of the misapprehension that she should be classed with monkeys writing Shakespeare, but alas, it's very hard to find a good long-distance electro-shocker, though if you have any suggestions, I'm all ears. So in my inbox last night was the first thirteen pages of her section and I'm THIS close to just telling her to write the whole damn thing herself, because IT'S THAT GOOD. DAMN her. Now I have to--challenge myself. *growls* Damn you Andy. DAMN YOU. More than that, I can't believe I'm doing this so fast after Jus. In one month, it'll be a full year since I started writing it, and I'm getting seriously nostalgic. It won't last. I also remember the nightmarish hours I spent curled up at my computer trying to figure out how to combine nonsensical comic canon control collars into the movieverse world. Grrrr. Not to mention that outline Min told me to do (okay, yes, that thing saved my life, mea culpa, I would have probably gone into some serious self-destruct if I hadn't had it) and the replotting to write all my endings so I could be sure they'd work. Yes, I was that anal. Go figure. Okay, Laura's rant, because God knows, you cannot stress too much the horror of OOC-ness. The number one biggest arguments are, of course, that everyone's character interpretation is different and so there's going to be variables between what each of us see on the screen and what we see when we write/read. Granted. Number Two--it's just fanfic. *giggles* Go read my LJ for the answer to that one. Number Three--the integrity of the story requires it. This one's legitimate, really, and I'll tell you why I actually have to nod slowly before I say no. It's true. Character interpretation is very, very personal stuff. Me and Beth recently got into a discussion on if Lex went to prison, how far Lionel would go to protect his son from some of the less savory realities. Beth figured he'd be sure Lex was protected from pretty much everything, while I was thinking that probably he'd just make sure Lex didn't actually die and would leave the rest up to Lex to figure a way out of. Fair enough. Either one is a pretty legit way to go with what we know of Lionel's lack of basic parenting skills not officially espoused by the Borgia Guide to Raising a Future Supervillian. On the other hand--canon is sort of there for a reason, you know. You've got to back up your character choice if you're going to go somewhere that is far enough off-canon to notice. And I'm not doing my laziness rant again because my head hurts, so go read it if you need the refresher on Why Laziness Is Very Bad. Integrity of the story. Okay, this one I have to think about for awhile. It HAS been done, and done well, to write the characters INTO a story instead of adapting the story to the characters, so to speak. But--it's a real hit or misser and you have to KNOW your characters already to twist them like that. I guess what frustrates me most about the OOC thing is that it's almost always done to villianize The Least Liked Character of Choice. Whitney. Lana. Jean Grey or Scott in X-Men. I'm not a huge fan of any of them, to be honest--there's a reason that Lana isn't exactly wandering through every one of my stories, and Whitney I just don't really care about enough usually. Scott and Jean are usually casually considered. But. Can we clarify something? JUST BECAUSE YOU DON'T LIKE THEM DOES NOT MAKE THEM EVIL. Can I say this enough times? It's lazy writing to do it. If you have a burning desire to make Lana the next reincarnation of Jezebel, either do it well enough so it fits with canon or don't bother. It's not Lana if we don't recognize her--it's an Original Character with a name we know. Which is highly annoying to read, btw. I don't like two dimensional villians in original fiction, and I'm even less interested in the fanfic version. Yes, I went to ff.net, which is why my mood is even less perky than usual. I KNOW better to wander through without a specific recommendation, but I was bored, dammit. Off to take more Robitussin DM. Be back later. jenn, still icked out email-- 11:35 a.m. The only size six Michael Rosenbaum is getting into is the one on his date. - by Hope vague meanderings, recs, etc -- 2002-04-13 I will not say the sheer amusement factor didn't cancel out the horror. Top keywords to find The Junkyard: stories Wanna here the top combination? google.yahoo.com/bin/query?p=sleepy dental fetish stories&hc=0&hs=0 Second was the Lionel/Lex incest thing. Hmmm. I'm scared. I'm really, really scared. I have never found a hint of eroticism in dental care. In fact, the very idea of visiting the dentist actually causes my libido to slip into a long-term coma. I'm not even going to begin to speculate on what this particular search means. I fear the net sometimes. Well, my Bethy is feeling depressed about fic inspiration. And it occurs to me to wonder--what does get people inspired? Okay, it's not like this hasn't been discussed ad nauseum, to the point where we all pretty much have our pat answers, and God knows, anyone who has done an author interview gets that question at LEAST twice, and I've covered the social aspects. Hell, I have proof of the social aspects--"Outside In" was written to make Beth happy and Pornfic #2 (still looking at that one wondering what the hell I was on) I wrote for Te because Te is evil and can make me think pornographic thoughts even though I didn't know I was thinking them. Which is why I love her. Mmm. Porn. I need to go look for some good porn. Anyway. I was going through my music collection. I burn through certain songs really, REALLY fast. "Wasting My Time" by Default I used to write two of the "Seventy Two Hours" stories (among my list of fics I have yet to finish editing or for that matter writing). "Drops of Jupiter" has the distinction of being used while writing most of Jus Ad Bellum--no, I don't get the connection either, except the day I started writing it, it came on in the car I was driving. "Angel" by Sarah McLachlan (well, most music by Sarah McLachlan) got me through "In the Space of Seven Days". And so on and so forth, until I can't stand to listen to them while writing. I have approximately a gig and a half of music that I get bored with really fast. So. Music recs, anyone? Please? I need inspiration. Lenny Kravitz has been fueling my need for romanticism like it's a lifeline to sanity, but for some reason, I want to write angst. Not just any angst, but something with soap opera-esque overtures. I mean, I want people having guilty orgasms everywhere they go with everyone on the show and then angsting about it afteward as well. We could call it Sexville. It's--terrifying that I actually sat down and started plotting this out. You know, who is having sex with whom at what time where, in the closet with Mr. Plum and the green dildo and someone, dear GOD, someone should have already had me committed. Or at least sent me an email encouraging my deviancy. Clue, Smallville style. If only I could manage eroticize Lana, but it just isn't happening and DAMMIT, why? I blame Beth. Well, because she wrote XXX-Mansion that I entertained myself by re-reading today. And if you haven't read it, you really, REALLY should. *G* Trust me on this one. Anyway, we could retro the whole Nicodemus thing--I mean, flower that removes inhibitions? It's like a fantasy come true. While offline, I wrote out a few ideas I had for fics that I knew I wouldn't ever actually write--one I got Andy to write with me, which means there's a chance it will actually be completed. Happy. Another one that gave me some food for thought I pulled out today, mostly because a few weeks ago, someone asked about the piece of story I put up awhile back called "Damaged". To write it now, I'd have to seriously rewrite the beginning, as the season has removed some of my options. On the other hand, it opened up a lot more interesting ones. I've been wanting to write the 'Clark kills someone by accident' fic forever (literally since I saw the pilot), and Club Zero just made me so happy I almost started crying. Okay, I didn't, but I could have felt like that if I was the sort that cried when seriously, seriously happy. I WAS RIGHT. Lex WOULD cover for his friends. And so, I went through it to see how much I'd actually gotten done, which is a surprising amount, come to think of it. Anyway, a few recs for your reading pleasure, in case you haven't hunted these up already. See Everything by zahra. Just--read it. It's wonderful. And dammit, no one handles metaphors like that. Divergence by Lanning Cook. Prequel to Identical. Read it now, now, now. There's plot and very light CLex, and did I mention plot like a dream come true? We NEED more plotted stories in Smallville. So good. So very, very good. Golden by Pearl-o. It's just so sweet. I mean, wonderfully sweet. *g* Makes me smile happily. Brand New Things by Ice. Lex/Whitney! Whoo-hoo! I literally comb the web for stories like this, and this is sooo good. So very, very--*catches breath*. I love Whitney in this, I just love Lex, and Ice just kicks ass bringing this together. I'm still hunting for more good Lex/Lana fic, so feel free to suggest. Something Like Forgetting cont. Yes, yes, yes, I wrote more of it. I NEED happyfic. It's like a disease. Going to go look for something to do. jenn
email-- 2:07 p.m. The only size six Michael Rosenbaum is getting into is the one on his date. - by Hope voyeurfic posted -- 2002-04-13 *sigh* Posted new fic. Outside In AKA Voyeurfic. Written for Beth, posted here a bit back, and edited a little. Thanks to Nat for ultrafast read. *g* I'm GOING to finish editing the Vix stories, Jus, and anything else I've had beta'ed Real Damn Soon Now. And I need something to rant about. Someone give me atopic. I'm so mellow there are yellow daisies meandering around me singing about--yellow. *looks scared* And of course, Beth's traumatizing me with Lexine and the triplets..... Oh man, the imagery is BACK! *shakes fist at Beth* Damn you! jenn, horrified with the gutter Beth put in her mind email-- 3:20 a.m. The only size six Michael Rosenbaum is getting into is the one on his date. - by Hope little this, little that.... -- 2002-04-12 LaT is being built a shrine RIGHT NOW. Guilty reading pleasures. God, do I have some of those. Too many, truth be told, as my favorite authors are all being slow with production. Bad, bad, bad. I should email them en masse to remind them of their responsibility toward--well, my good taste. I'm easily influenced by what I read, you know.... I've been recently shocked by myself--really, REALLY shocked, actually--when the concept of a Clark/Lana fic entered my brain and refused to leave. Now, Lex/Lana--I grew accustomed to that, but Clark/Lana is my anti-ship. I'm not sure what to do about this one. Just file it away in the Do Not Do file and be happy, except--I sort of like the concept. I sketched down a semi-outline to get it out of my head then went looking for new music. Hmm. I'm usually not unfaithful to my primary pairing so quickly, but it just TEASES me. *sigh* In other news, I somehow managed to convince Andy to help me write a story that's been bothering me for awhile. Unfortunately, it's plot intensive and I burned out my plotting abilities with Jus (which is running through final checks as we speak, metaphorically speaking), and in any case, I can't be quite sure how it'll develop until the end of the season, when I can start working inside canon. This, I remember now, is why I am a whore for the canon pairings--they are less likely to screw around with my storylines, but if I make it to summer, I'll have three or so months to get this done before the new season, which hopefully will include evil bunnies and Jonathan's attachment to livestock (see Jane's Season Two). Could we get this lucky? Now off to read other people's blogs, as they are far more interesting than I am. At least today. Though I have this urge to write a Evil MPreg Fic, I shall not, as I am strong. And Beth is sooo the boss of me *g* jenn email-- 11:58 a.m. The only size six Michael Rosenbaum is getting into is the one on his date. - by Hope BACK! It's BACK! -- 2002-04-11 It's back! *hops up and down* Well, I lost Rant A, but Rant B is up at my LJ. Also there--Cleaner Than. Complete Smallville fic. Sort of outdated Rogue coda. You might like. *sighs* I missed my diary. jenn email-- 10:23 p.m. The only size six Michael Rosenbaum is getting into is the one on his date. - by Hope things thought about -- 2002-04-10 Jus Ad Bellum. As soon as I'm done editing. Now. Hmm. I'm catching up on the blogging and livejournaling and people who think even more than I do. Luckily, I entirely forgot to try to form an opinion on good taste versus censorship versus fictionalization of traumatic events versus--well, you get the picture. No, wait, I DO have an opinion. It would be a lot easier to jump on over and read Te and that sort of covers it all. I'm streamlining your reading experience. *g*. Aren't I nice? I suppose it's one of those issues I can't take very seriously--not in the way of saying people are foolish to care, but that the debate comes up so much that the stock standard-issue arguments are well known to all that we can parrot those suckers back verbatim pretty much. It's like the argument-roach of the fanfiction world, and it's utterly impossible to look at without emotion involved. Okay, maybe I can, but that's because my greatest squicks have very little to do with some of the topics running around,including the incest theme. I mean, I cut my fiction teeth on "Flowers in the Attic" before I'd even hit puberty--bestseller and disturbing as all hell, and VC Andrews (AKA the current ghostwriter) still makes millions off the concept of sibling incest and uncle/niece incest. I've been studying genealogy for upward of fifteen years, and so it's not exactly earth shattering news that relatives get down with each other. A hundred something years ago, you could get a papal dispension to marry your uncle/aunt/niece/nephew while they were still learning how to walk. The Ptolemy dynasty in Egypt was based off of parent/child marriages to keep the bloodline pure (and faintly matriarchal, though I've heard arguments either way on the reasoning). Doesn't mean I don't get highly disturbed by stuff like Elizabeth's "(I) Forget" and Te's "See This", not to mention Nico's very twisted "Thin Line" and Jane St. Clair's "Red". Which is part of the point of it--not the shock value, though I consider that as legitimate a reason to write fiction as any other. I like being thrown from my comfortable niche. I get a kick out of an author who can do this to me and make me rethink everything I think I know. I also prefer good writers to do this than bad ones, but there's a dearth of really talented writers willing to take serious risks. I can count about twelve off the top of my head that I can trust to deliver a risky/controversial/disturbing storyline and do it brilliantly. My squicks are rarely actual plotlines--my squicks are atrocious writing of actual plotlines. Rule of thumb--there are no bad storylines. There is just incompetent/bad/mediocre writing of storylines. Enough on that one. I'm going to go looking for porn in all the right places. jenn email-- 7:05 p.m. The only size six Michael Rosenbaum is getting into is the one on his date. - by Hope lo, and there was a great and terrible storm.... -- 2002-04-10 I'm not cursed. I do not believe in them. However, i will point out this could change at any moment. Say this last Sunday, when the phone lines in our area blew out due to a small thunderstorm. We've had tornados--but the phones go on. We've lost ELECTRICITY--but the phones go on. We get a little lightning and some thunder, and boom, phonelessness. Okay, ironic phonelessness. If someone called they could hear us REALLY well. We just couln't hear them. Frustration much? Anyway, to continue the autobiographical moment, the lack of internet made me temporarily insane, and so I let my sister's boyfriend upgrade my computer. Upgrade. New processor, new RAM, and new OS. Great right? So you'd think. Windows XP is very pretty. But do you know what I don't have? A working email program. Express isn't backward compatiable with Microsoft Outlook adn I don't have my Outlook disk anymore, so I cannot get my old email. On the other hand, XP is soo pretty. I'm that shallow. It IS pretty. And it's a hell of a lot more stable than Windows 98, which is something useful. And pretty, pretty MP3 player. Pretty, pretty software. No. Email. Program. That will translate all my old messages. And the webmail version of my main account is highly non-user friendly, so if you get an email from a seperis@yahoo.com, well, you'll know who the hell that is. Grrr. But. The phone lines are working. Though Explorer 6 is sort of freaking me out--it just looks too different. I don't like change. There's a reason I don't upgrade often. *sigh* More later, when I've finished sorting out what on earth this thing does. It disturbs me. I don't like being disturbed. jenn email-- 1:09 p.m. The only size six Michael Rosenbaum is getting into is the one on his date. - by Hope |
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